WORDS OF SOUL

 Good day everyone! 💚 This is my entry for today's blog. I hope you all doing well. 💗 This quotation is overused, I know. Still I believe in the sayings that "NO MAN IS AN ISLAND"  Also, my favorite anime character said that the essence of living is when you have a connection with people.  Since I was a kid, I am aware that I have a not so nice attitude, I easily got angry, every time I speak it seems like I am shouting, and my poker face expression is often misunderstood, mostly people would say that I look so intimidating, angry, and snob.  Thus, I grow up contented of my own company, yes I do found some friends in Elementary but it did not last long because I always value my principle that somewhat contradicts their views. Because I am so used of being alone, I did not prioritize the friends over family or friends over my studies, just like what my grade's school classmates did. I burned the bridges and we part ways.  When I was in high school I can say tha...

                                                                  Good day everyone! 💚 How was your week so far? 1 more day before the weekends! I guess most of us are excited of weekends aren't we?  Because finally we could rest a bit, sleep a lil bit more and have finally a short time for our self.  Today I will share you something cliché but it makes me happy. It reminds me that I am living, that I am not a student who seems barely exist, but also live.  Yesterday, November 22, 2023 I chose to change my daily routine after class, instead of rushing to buy  groceries  and back to dorm, rest and scan my notes. I chose to go with my classmates to play volleyball, I had a lot of fun, and while playing I realized that I did not have that heartfelt laugh a for a long while now.  I am not good...

        Good day everyone! 💚 According to one of my favorite author, VIX KING. "Trauma is that it distorts and intensifies every negative thoughts, feeling, and physical sensation we have. Trauma  makes us thin-skinned, overly sensitive, hypervigilant, and prone to pain. And it's often all-encompassing, so our attention is focused on the pain and on desperately trying to avoid it."  This sentences hits different. it resonates how I feel every time I encounter something that triggered my trauma.  I can consider my self as someone who is broken beyond repair, although I already accepted and embraced my traumatic past to slowly heal my self. But healing is one time forward yet two times backward. ANTHING, literally anything that can remind me of my trauma will also triggered my suicidal thoughts.  So, how can we heal in trauma? Is diversion or a distraction, or a new focus can heal a trauma?  For me it is NOT. We can somewhat distract ourselves...

                                                           "In life we need to carefully choose a battle that worth the sacrifices even if we do not know if we can win. "  Good day everyone! 💚  I know it such a long time since I uploaded a blog. I sincerely apologized for that.  In past few weeks I was not really in the good shape. I cannot correctly gather my thoughts and I honestly don't to where to start and what to share.  My head was in chaos for how many weeks, I don't know if all the battles I face is worth fighting for or should I accept defeat? I don't want to quit, I hold onto my faith and strengthen my principles that this battle is worth fighting for.  But, One thing I learned in those dark times of my life. "In life we need to carefully choose a battle that worth the sacrifices even if we do not know ...

  G Good day everyone! It is good to be back! Sorry for being MIA for a long time. :> Now I will share to you a poem that resonates my feelings right now. 💜 "LOST" Heavy clouds, drops of rain, winds blow slowly,  there was a girl sitting in a bridge leaning on the steel. She has a gloomy eyes, gloomy as the weather. As rain drops, her tear drops She felt hopeless, hopeful, scared, determined, courage, discourage. Her mind is in chaos, it was a relaxing but depressing. The whirlwind, the green field, the stormy clouds, the thunder feels like home to her. She wish to be a bird for the hundreds time, thinking that she might not have the heavy heart. How to ease the pain? How to be not scared of the future? How to cast out the negativity. The disappointment,  the lack of confidence, the insecurities, the financial problem, is slowly killing her body. In this world full of uncertainties and depressing moments, may we find a comfort and peace within ou...