ESSENCE OF FRIENDSHIP

 Good day everyone! 💚

This is my entry for today's blog. I hope you all doing well. 💗

This quotation is overused, I know. Still I believe in the sayings that "NO MAN IS AN ISLAND" 

Also, my favorite anime character said that the essence of living is when you have a connection with people. 

Since I was a kid, I am aware that I have a not so nice attitude, I easily got angry, every time I speak it seems like I am shouting, and my poker face expression is often misunderstood, mostly people would say that I look so intimidating, angry, and snob.  Thus, I grow up contented of my own company, yes I do found some friends in Elementary but it did not last long because I always value my principle that somewhat contradicts their views. Because I am so used of being alone, I did not prioritize the friends over family or friends over my studies, just like what my grade's school classmates did. I burned the bridges and we part ways. 

When I was in high school I can say that I am aloof, reflecting on my past choices of friends, I can say that it is better to be alone than to be in a wrong circle of people. I am more picky and my trust issues is on the moon. Before, if you act friendly at me or smile at me often, I would automatically judge you. Like, what is this person agenda? Why is this person being friendly and fishy? 

But when I was at 8th grade the seat plan suddenly arranged according to its cleaning group. My seatmate was my previous classmate in grade 7 but we did not spoke even a word in grade 7 so I expect that I also do not need to say "hi" or "good day" to her. Suddenly, she was very bubbly and she kept showing me a lot of videos and pictures of Fifth Harmony, I was really shock and felt odd since the last time I recall she was also a quite person. 

Fast forward, it was September 21 and I don't know that it was her birthday, I can felt that time that she's a bit upset at me, I don't mind her since I don't know why. But she suddenly confronted me, saying she's upset because I did not greet her in her birthday even though we are "BEST FRIENDS" 

I was dumbfounded, not because I don't know it was her birthday, but because of the word "BEST FRIEND" I know and I am convinced that I do not have any  "BEST FRIENDS" that time. I just suddenly blurted out that we are NOT "BEST FRIENDS" I thought she will get offended, but she just laughed it off saying, "I know you would say that" and laugh more. She often said that I am cold, no sweetness, and intimidating. Yet she likes me that way. She invited me to their house that day, and every year, even though I always forgot the date of her birthday she still invited me. 

 Until times come, that I think she know me better more than I know myself. We came so dependent to each other and find a home, that we always seek elsewhere. 

Our group of friendships grows, and I am thankful that I open my heart to her because I learned to open it other people who are deserving. 

Our friendship is not perfect, we fought, argued, get upset and offended, but still we know each other and we love each just exactly who we are. I corrected their mistakes and they also corrected mine, I lend them my light when they are in the dark, and they  also lend their lights when I am in the dark. ❤

I think that is the essence of friendship, for being their not just in good times but also in bad, for standing up for them when they are not around, and not loving them less no matter how far you go. 

I miss them, I miss my home and my rest, I miss the people who exactly know who I am. Even when I am silent or loud. 💚

Everyone, please find someone who understand your soul, someone whom you can run on if your head is full, someone who can lift you up and not pull you down. 💖

Quality is always better than quantity, no matter how small your circles of friend, as long as they are true, and you can feel it in your heart, keep them. 💕